Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

No your aunties a joke

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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