Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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outside your comfort zone

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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