What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Yes

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops