What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Guess what What

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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