What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Women.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

What rhymes with milk...milf

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

Blacks

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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