bite me

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

Weaner

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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