What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops