Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

Whats cold and frozen? ice

Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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