What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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