- Anti Joke

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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