Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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My spelling is horrible

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops