Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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