Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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