Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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