I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +11

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

thumb_up thumb_down +11

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops