If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops