What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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