What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Whats circular and black? a black circle.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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