Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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95556

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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