Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

gingers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops