Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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good looking women

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops