How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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My cat just died.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Pain Olympics.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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My spelling is horrible

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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