Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

thumb_up thumb_down -11

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Rylan Clark

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops