whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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