How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

Weaner

Apple hates Blackberry.

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

What is life? Paul.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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