Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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