Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I? Everett

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops