How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

womens rights

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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