Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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People who do not realize the concept of this website, and write real jokes on it.

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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A man walks in a bar he talks to the bartender aand he tells him a joke about him and hs friends. how do you find out his name? You killl the bartenders friends and family untill he talks.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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