Once upon a time

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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the lemon was sweet.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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