What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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Pain Olympics.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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42

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops