Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops