A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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