Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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men's rights activists

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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