I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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