What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

Sex

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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