Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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