A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

Q: knok knok A: Im home

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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