An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops