Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

no rasist joks

well use a tissue!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...