Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

thumb_up thumb_down

http://api.solvemedia.com/papi/media?c=2@4kVxPaRsBr6xmKYFf1AWrnUekZ5Qm16e@VS0Tc9Os5q8ENU8bgrSzdX9APTC4lJjowvMEvv53MnevBtoOvXkqvmo6q3GRjryi4pBIcsYECoiZmERhCMm3t7otsPlwyu31uNcluNyw3UKXeBeML2ZQF3X3Wfs3WC6Cdp-lOv-Y0fRdSiML4k2yPqmVJrbT.a9hCr0BoWsRJvq7n7aejLjOmz3h3eZDdwJaN54pFV-QOvO5sQ5wVZlVq-2yi9hMbBbb213AoVTT7vLIhTq0xcBFvtuMdWdS2jn2ActORr3W16MmSEVcgrS6gA;w=300;h=150;fg=ffffff;bg=5d216b

thumb_up thumb_down

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

thumb_up thumb_down

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

thumb_up thumb_down

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

thumb_up thumb_down

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops