Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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12 in general

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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Donald Trump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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