How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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