What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops