if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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