what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Communism hehe xd

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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The New York Giants

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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