What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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