What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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