How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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