- Anti Joke

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.