whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

obama

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

If you were a cactus, why?

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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