Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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you will like this because i am black.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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