What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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asdasdasdasd

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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