Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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