How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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