What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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