Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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