Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

You tell me. I have amnesia.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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