what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops