How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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NEVER

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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