How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

rocky is here again.......................

Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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