Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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