Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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