A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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