Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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